Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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