wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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