The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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