honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
