Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
