he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
