after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
