you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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