Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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