I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
