He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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