I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
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