And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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