Small penises have feelings too.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
