I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
