Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Dignity is for republicans.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
