Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
