Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
