You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
