Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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