he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
