and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
