ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
