We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
