Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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