And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
