wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
