we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
we're so committed to being not committed
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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