you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
sex in a hospital.. check
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
