I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
