I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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