I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
