i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
