A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
