I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
