in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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