im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
