We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
