why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize