what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
