What a fucking waste of an outfit
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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