Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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