Jerry, you need to find god
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
