I just made out with a guy for $7.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
