How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
it was like eating out sand paper
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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