idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Randomize
