Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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