my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
