I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
