since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
