That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
sex in a hospital.. check
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
