I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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